The News Corpse

The News Corpse, Also known as The Gazette, is the town's two page newspaper, which is published daily at midnight and edited by The Crow. It is also the location of the Great Register: the list consisting of all the town's activities.

If the Search Tower Searchtower has, this page will show the direction of the replenished zones. There is also mention of units of water lost from the well, if the Water Turrets Water Turrets have been upgraded.

On the left-hand page are a few paragraphs relating to the events of the previous day and night, generally not in a pleasant manner. At the bottom of the left page are the obituaries, the list of people who died

List of Possible Gazette Entries

Town Related

This is the part of the Gazette that provides the town with information about the previous night's attack, specifically any deaths that occurred.

No deaths

• This morning, [resident] celebrated last night's thwarting of the zombie hordes by running buck naked through the streets. "I wanted to celebrate the dawning of this new day in an appropriate fashion", the citizen explained.
• Our defences not far from the great southern wall withstood the Hordes' terrifying attack last night. Around [#] zombies ! No loss of life during the attack.
• No deaths tonight. All is well. However, I guarantee you the zombies will be starving tonight: I don't fancy our chances...
• The zombies came at us hard for some time, but none got through... However, don't doubt for a second that they'll be back tonight, even hungrier and certainly greater in number...
• Our defences at the eastern wall seem satisfactory. The terrifying creatures from the horde were kept at bay... this time ! Otherwise, the [#] zombies from last night had nothing but our scraps to get their teeth into, and some animal carcasses... Our defences held up well.
• No losses in the ranks to report following the attack (none in town at least). "Yeah, I guess, but we're all going to die tomorrow night!" according to [resident], a sceptical citizen.
• No deaths to report from last night. It could even be said that the community has (finally) worked out how to organise itself to avoid extinction.
• Our defences made it through the night. I doubt they'll be sufficient for tonight, the zombies are going to be starving...
• A great night for some well-earned celebrations. No deaths in town resulting from the attack ! A sizeable horde attacked near the great wall.
• [Resident] was saved in the nick of time when getting ready to hang themselves in their home last night. They explained, "I thought they were going to eat me alive, and I didn't want to live to see that". In hindsight, it was a poor decision, as no zombies made it into town last night.
• You heard them last night... the cries, the groans. Around [#] zombies. We managed to prevail this time, but tomorrow... tomorrow will be even worse...
• We bid a fond farewell to [name], the old dog that lived in the village... [name] incessant barking which annoyed everyone in the neighbourhood stopped for good as of last night's attack. Poor thing... The good news is that there was no loss of human life in the town to speak of.
• It should be noted that our defences not far from the great southern wall withstood the Hordes' terrifying attack last night. Around [#] zombies ! No loss of life during the attack.
• With Around [#] zombies at the gates last night, we could have feared the worst, but not a single one got in : good times ! Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back just yet !
• Otherwise, no losses in the ranks to report following the attack (none in town at least). "Yeah, I guess, but we're all going to die tomorrow night!" according to ____ , a sceptical citizen.
• NB : horde food shortage : [#] zombies, and not one of them got anything to eat last night, our defences held up well.
• NB : some citizens were sweating last night. A wave of around 50 monsters tried to destroy our town, albeit unsuccessfully.
• A peaceful night in town. The 50 that came last night hit some parts of town pretty hard, but there's nothing remarkable to report.
• It should be noted that No deaths to report from last night. It could even be said that the community has (finally) worked out how to organise itself to avoid extinction.
• It looks like we got it right, since no zombies breached the walls last night.
• [Resident] spent the whole night howling in their house, to the point that everyone thought that the zombies were making citizen steaks out of him. It turns out that they were just having a massive breakdown. No deaths in town last night.
• Apart from that, good, nobody died last night. A horde of nearly [#] zombies wailed outside all night, but around none managed to breach our defences.
• We had what we needed at the northern wall to keep the [#] shuffling stiffs from getting through last night, that much is sure. Zero losses - save a few houses they hit.

Only one casualty

• Some citizens witnessed a strange event... It could be said that the zombies came exclusively for [resident] last night. They carried the body all the way to the construction site before the dismembering began !
• Some say that the death of [resident] was not down to luck... the only victim last night... Could someone among us have provoked their death?
• Apart from that, i'm sure it's not just me who thinks we have a score to settle with [resident] who "forgot" to close the gates after having opened them. It's ultimately down to you guys though...

Few deaths (gates open)

• Apart from that, what is the point of building defences if citizens like [resident^] open the gates and don't think to close them before midnight? Fortunately there was only limited damage... BAN! BAN! BAN!
• Otherwise, the gates were left open last night. According to the register, it was down to [resident^]. Bravo! In the end up it could have been worse... despite this minor balls-up there weren't that many victims. Pfff...

^=Name of the last citizen mentioned in a "Gate" entry (entered/left town or operated the gates)

Several deaths

• A dreadful night for the town. The living dead massacred [#] of our community during the attack. You might like to take another look at our defences before tonight... Thats all I have to say...
• The zombies found a weakness in our defences last night at the northern wall... Some houses withstood the attack. Others didn't... [#] dead. End of story.
• [resident] broke down in tears in front of everyone this morning (stress, no doubt), so happy not to be one of the [#] victims of the last attack.
• A handful of zombies broke through our defences near the northern quarter, we have no idea how... According to [resident], there was a crack in the wall near their house. As "luck" would have it, [#] citizens are dead, but they survived. It would appear that after the attack, the citizen carefully and conscientiously repared the crack... Does that sound a little suspect to you ?
• A tidal wave of [#] zombies crashed against our town last night! [#] citizens were devoured in their own homes or dragged into the desert... Another night like that, and we won't be here to talk about it.
• We need to get a move on; our inability to build satisfactiory defences cost the lives of [#] citizens last night. For your information, there were around [#] zombies attacking the town last night.
• There were insufficient defences in lpace last night. [#] citizens paid for your lack of organisation with their lives.
• Last night, [#] citizens didn't make it back home in time. Caught by the zombies during the attck, they would have had no chance. Some parts of them were found near the western quarter. Eye-witnesses report seeing [resident] shouting "Run, Forrest, RUN !" before bursting out laughing and running into their house.
• What a giant cock-up : [#] died in town last night! A massacre to which must be added [name], [survivor]'s [pet] whose crushed head was found wedged in the gates.
  • [name]:
    • Toast.
  • [pet]:
    • meerkat.

Devastated town

• Day of devastation: "The town is now no more than a vast, sickening cemetary. There was nobody here last night to resist the last attack : the town gates were forced open and reduced to splinters. [Town name] is no more."
• Later days: "This town is dead... Flee you poor fools!"

Death Related

This part gives a quick explanation of the deaths of people who died for reasons other than the midnight attack (hanging, infection, dehydration etc.)

Dehydration

• Listen to this, a sterling effort from † [resident] who made a bet with me that they could survive without water. I won though !
• As of yesterday, † [resident] is nothing more than a dried out corpse in a bed. That's what happens when there's a water shortage. For some reason there seem to still be some people who think they can take it or leave it...
• Funny story, yesterday, †[resident] finally understood that water has its uses. A fine example of death by dehydration.
• † [resident]'s death from dehydration is a worrying sign. The more you think about it, the more thirsty you become, don't you find?

Killed outside

• "You shouldn't go out", [resident] warned yesterday. He was correct, at least as far as the [#] citizens who we heard screaming in the desert all night were concerned...
• The danger continues to grow in the desert, as † [resident] found out to their cost. Don't go out alone any more !
• We add † [resident] to the list of those missing. They have been in the World Beyond since yesterday. It's unlikely they'll be coming back.
• † [Resident] has been added to the list of Victims of the Horde, who has been missing in the World Beyond since yesterday.
• No news from our [#] courageous citizens who ventured into the World Beyond yesterday. If in doubt, pillage their house...
• Some citizens are missing. They've been in the desert since yesterday, but there has been no sign of them since the attack. I hope there is nobody you care about out there...
• "They're never coming back and we'll just have to deal with it", proposed [resident] this morning, talking about the [#] citizens that have been missing in the World Beyond for several hours...
• † [name] has been added to the list of Victims of the Horde, who has been missing in the World Beyond since yesterday.
• Abandonned in the desert, the [#] citizens who went outside yesterday will surely never return.
• A little clarification on the mysterious message left by † ____ : "Don't expect me for dinner tonight". They clearly decided to spend the night outside...
• † [resident] wanted to play at being a Hero, wandering around outside without an escort. We haven't seen or heard from him in several hours.
• No news from † [resident] in the several hours prior to my writing this.
• † [resident] hasn't returned to the town since they went outside yesterday...
• [#] citizens missed roll-call this morning... They went out last night... not one of them came back... Not ONE.
• The ever-vigilant [resident] informed us of the disapearance of [#] citizens who were outside overnight. "They tried to hide, but it was a foregone conclusion. I saw it all through my binoculars. It's not a great loss".
• Nobody lifted a finger to help the [#] citizens that were blocked outside last night. I hope you can sleep at night with their deaths on your conscience.
• The citizens clearly decided to leave † [resident] to their own devices in the World Beyond, but we haven't heard from them in some time. You guys are all heart...
• [#] of your fellow citizens likely got turned into zombie chow last night. We haven't anything from them in several hours...

Infection

• It didn't take long for the sickness to take down several citizens ([#], I think) during the night. Just [#] days of incubation and that's the end of them.
• That reminds me, the town smells like death. Deadly infections have stricken several citizens as of last night... Do we have anything in the bank to stop it?
• Listen to this, the bloated thing at † [resident]'s house is † [resident], whose infection was particularly invasive.

Hanging

• Another thing, yesterday was crackdown day in town, with the arrest and hanging of [#] citizens. Due process? What process ? There was no time.
• † ____ didn't last long in town. Hanged in the town square and stoned to death. No half-measures here! Isn't civilisation grand?
• I meant to tell you, grand melodrama yesterday during the hanging of † [resident]. The grief-stricken [resident] tried to spoil the festivities, and eventually attempted to achieve this goal through violence and other anti-social behaviour. Onlookers suggested hanging the wretched party-pooper..
• [#] citizens have gone too far. Or not far enough. Whatever the case, the community decided to make them vanish yesterday.

Poisoning

• There are more treacherous people than me in town. as proven by the untimely death of † [resident] yesterday, who was murdered (compound 1080 poisoning, in my opinion). It was clean, and there wasn't too much mess, even though it seems that † [resident] suffered enormously. A job well done, keep it going, dear friend.
• If I were you, I'd double-check everything before you swallow it. It seems, † [resident] should have been more careful yesterday. A victim of compound 1080 poisoning. A crime? Accident ? Who knows ? ... Oh yes... Me. I know.
• There's been a murder ! Someone has killed † [resident]! And it wasn't me who did it (even though I maybe wanted to...). Which particular knave did the dirty deed ins my place?
• Clearly someone didn't like † [resident] : their meal yesterday turned out to be their last. The poison which had been added to it was most effective...

Cyanide

• That reminds me, we never thought we'd see the day : † [resident] killed themselves yesterday. They had ben banging their head off walls and eating sand for days rather than drinking their ration of water... Shame.

????

• That reminds me, [resident1] found † [resident2]'s body lying in a construction site this morning. According to them, it was suicide... Although, [resident1] couldn't explain the knife planted in the corpse's back.

Flavour Text

This is the part of the Gazette that provides the town with witty, comical details that don't actually hold any value to the town. It's just written to add a little "flavour" to the report.

• One of the [#-1] attacking zombies from last night was found in the well I'd strongly advise you to skip your water ration today, as it'd be a great way to get an infection...
• We all remember the fun we had the day [resident] christened the [animal species] who lived in the town, [animal name] ... I'm sorry to report that [animal name] was found sprawled out on a construction site this morning. I'm sure [resident] would appreciate a short message of support.
• It looks like some items in the bank caught [resident]'s eye yesterday . It didn't pass by unnoticed though, did it ?
• It should be noted that [Resident] spent the whole night howling in their house, to the point that everyone thought that the zombies were making citizen steaks out of him. It turns out that they were just having a [Action?].
• On the register, look how many times ____ has been meddling with the stocks in the bank. Did someone say suspicious ?
• The alaskan malamute which was christened Ernie by someone or other was found cut in half this morning. One half was found in the well, which explains the strange-tasting rations today...
• Apart from that, there is a great sadness in town this morning following the disappearance of our mascot Vartan. We suspect there is a traitor in our midst (some are talking about [resident]) but it's difficult to know more at this stage.
• One more thing, it seems [resident] decided to dump all their random findings in our bank. It's quality we need here, not quantity, [resident]...
• The labradoodle which was christened Click by someone or other was found cut in half this morning. One half was found in the well, which explains the strange-tasting rations today...

Obituaries

This lists the people who have died during the previous day or night.

The list of the "Deaths in Town" are the people who have been killed by the zombies during the night's attack. The list of "Other Victims" are those who died in other ways ( in the World Beyond by getting Dehydrated! Dehydrated!, etc.

Additionally, right beside the box there are lines that count how many days the town has survived. Mousing over the lines will show the text "Yes... # days"

Interesting Facts

If you look closely at the newspaper, you will see another text in French. And it seems using Italian aswell.

Some translation:

• "La Mort" - The Death (French)
• "De G??AR" - of ??? (French)
• "Lettera" - Letter (Italian)
• "Del Signor" - of Mr. (Italian)
• "Conte Al Garoti" - Count the Garota (Italian)
• "Al Signors" - The Sir (Italian)
• "Abate Franchini" - Abbot Franchini (Italian)